Are You?
by Emerin
Summary: I look back on today as if it had merely been an unpleasant dining experience. But I can not lie Today has changed me...xSLASH DracoHarry x


A One-Shot ficlet that I decided to post. This actually happened to a friend of mine recently, and I wanted to properly express the evils that come with a close-mind. So, please read this and maybe think twice before saying something nasty to someone different than yourself...Or perhaps simply speak up for those of us who have no voices. Thank you.

-Emerin

A/N: This is in Draco's POV. I know its hard to tell, so I decided just to tell you.

* * *

**Dedicated to Noah J**.

_"Love in silence  
Secret,  
Hide your love,  
Under wet sheets and blankets,  
Hide behind your lies.  
A fear to die;  
Fear to fall;  
A fear to fly;  
To fear of just losing it all.  
With all this fear,  
What's the point of living at all?"__  
-Naomi Hunter_ _'Todana-no Nakani'_

* * *

For as long as I could remember, I've always feared the truth about myself. But I luckily protected myself by never telling ANYONE what and who I really was. By keeping it to myself and never showing it, I was safe...So I never had to truly know what people would do once they found out my secrets. 

I'm an Orphan...But I was accepted whole-heartedly into the Weasley's, and I've never looked back.

I'm an Heir ...But I've rebuked my destiny and paid back my crimes by giving up my name. The Great War gods must've been pleased when I gave my mother and hearing in my left ear as an offering, for they let me survive... and gave me Harry.

But those were the only ones I almost willingly shared. I have a darker past than what people think...and its slipt out once or twice when it became too much to bear.

Harry knows it all...he's the only one. I'd like to think Pansy knows me well, knows all my secrets and accepts me anyways...but she doesn't. She's never seen me at my worst, nor will she ever. There're just some things I can not tell her...And today just proved it.

I was spending time with Harry on the Hogwarts grounds after he came by the common room and picked me up after lunch. We were sprawled out on the grass in this section that no one really goes through, so I decided to relax and enjoy Harry's company. It felt good to be me again, REALLY good. So good i decided to fuck my homework and bask in the afternoon sun instead...Harry was watching me, prolly relieved that I wasn't crying my ass off again.

Then Blaise Zabini joined us and he said this group of Hufflepuffs had been hassling him in the library. He had been doing some research on gay literature for a class paper, and also because he was curious, when those Hufflepuffs had walked past him and caught him flipping through 'Gay Circe'.( Which, by the way, is a FANTASTIC book of short stories.)

So, they followed him throughout the library, asking him questions about the books, asking if he was gay himself, asking if he'd come suck one of them off in the bathrooms. By this point in telling us, Blaise was crying and shaking. He's not a very big kid, prolly a good 120 pounds at most, maybe about 5"7'. So, he was pretty much petrified. AGAIN. Anyways, the guys ended up getting pretty rowdy because Blaise was ignoring them and they got kicked out of the library. Thats when Blaise bolted and luckily ran into us.During most of his story, I was holding him, trying to calm him down since it seemed like he was going to have a stroke or something...

Thats when they came.

There were 6 of them, and you could tell the only way they got into this school was through sheer luck. They stopped at the sight of Blaise, then looked at me, then looked at the fact that he was in my arms, and it all seemed to click in their thick skulls.

The biggest one sauntered right over and asked," Hey Queenie, is this your boyfriend?"

Stupid me and my bravely foolish big mouth I'd aquired from blasted Harry, said," So what if I am? Jealous?"

He turned this horrible shade of purple and lost his grin and said something to the likes of," I'm no fucking queer! How fucking DARE you say that, you fucking faggot!"

Blaise's shaking more, and I go and only make it worse." You know what they say about denial."

The guy apparently didn't take to the implication...and they came at me faster than I anticipated...Next thing I knew, I was sprawled out on my back, trying to get the guy to let go of my neck. I looked past him and saw Harry on his feet, hiding Blaise behind him, looking defiantly at the other five guys. Harryy wasn't a Quidditch player for seven years for nothing. So, with him tied up trying to protect scrawny, spineless Blaise, I was left to my own devices, trying not to suffocate. The guy kept trying to get inbetween my legs, but I had somehow managed up to that point to keep my knees pressed against my stomach. But he used his grip on my neck, plus the fact that I was having a hard time seeing straight let alone strength to fight it, to hoist me up off the ground and pin me back against the side of the castle that was worn smooth by weather and moss.

He dug his fingernails into my skin and all but screamed in my face," You like taking it up the ass, huh! We'll see how much you like it you sick fuck when I get through with you!"

I could hear Blaise and Harry try to get past the brutes, but I couldn't see them. All I could see was the guy's ugly pug face, stupid crew cut and breath that smelled like frog spawn. I heard my pants rip, felt the wind on my calves, winced as my nose was suddenly shoved against the wall, and grimaced as something hard was pressed against my rear through my boxers.

I almost thank God that the guy wasn't smart, or skilled for that matter. For had he been, I would've been fucked, literally. He would've realized that letting go of my neck was the single worst thing he could've done, since I was able to quickly regain my breath, and he would've known that my entrance was much further down than what he aimed at.

So, I reached around and dug my nails into his cock, and twisted. He screamed out in pain, leaping away from me...Unfortunately, I failed to remember that there were FIVE, and I was quickly subdued to the ground with various kicks to my ribs.

Blaise was pushed ontop of me, and I was appalled to feel him completely bare. Harry was kicking and screaming against three of the Hufflepuffs, biting down on a crude gag they'd made for him out of a bit of my pant leg...I now truly thank the gods that he never listened to me when I said he should tell the truth like I did, else they would've found out he was gay as well. Then not even his untarnished name as the Savior of the Wizarding World could've saved him from the violence to come. The gag and normal brutality was all he suffered, and was just left to watch his friends get humiliated.

They made me kiss Blaise, and feel him through our scarce clothing, and arch into his hands, and feel disgusting for liking it all so much. And just before the Professors finally showed up after hearing so much hooting and hollering, the six Hufflepuffs made me remember why I never let my secrets out. Why I protected them as fiercely as Harry protected Blaise. But like Harry, I just couldn't protect them well enough. There will always be six guys who force it out of hiding and there will always be six guys who make you feel like dirt because of it.

I'm ok now i guess. We're in Harry's private dorm, after spending around four hours in the Headmaster's office giving statements and descriptions to the Minsitry officials since four of the six guys "escaped" their pursuit. Blaise was, and still is, too horrified to press charges, and I can't afford to go to court (since I no money to speak of nor public support to help me win anyways) and nothing major happened to Harry other than a bloody nose and Blaise fervently made him swear he wouldn't tell a living soul, so...the two Hufflepuffs got detention for three months and no Hogsmeade privledges.

Thats the way the world works I guess...But I find I don't care much either way anymore. And as I lay craddled in Harry's protective arms, watching Blaise toss and turn on Harry's bed in restless sleep, I remember the part of the interrogation (there's no better word for it) that plagued me worse than anything else in my horrible life.

The official had asked me how it all started, and I said it was because they thought Blaise and I were gay...and he asks," Are you?"


End file.
